It’s that time of year again where many folks have already given up on the resolutions they set just four weeks ago. We have high aspirations going into a new year with new health, wealth, and spiritual goals only to be disappointed by the end of January that we didn’t stick to our new workout plan of two hours in the gym six days per week.

We blame ourselves for lacking discipline and giving up on a health goal that is supposed to make us better. We get down on ourselves for having the extra bowl of ice cream on Friday night when we said we’d watch our diet. Why can’t we have greater discipline and self control? It’s easy to get down on yourself.

But these are not character flaws, they are design flaws. To set lasting healthy habits, you have to have the right system in place to maintain the new behavior. For starters, go easy on ourself. In his book Tiny Habits, author BJ Fogg notes that people change best by feeling good, not be feeling bad. Habits are formed by starting with a tiny, manageable version of the new habit you want. This is done by: 1) implementing an anchor (an existing routine that you already do to remind you to do the tiny behavior); 2) a new tiny, manageable behavior (I will change into my workout clothes and put my workout shoes on after I do my morning pee; and 3) instant celebration, positive emotion associated with doing the new tiny behavior.

In other words, your new goal has to be easy to do and tied to something you already do to make it a lasting habit. Don’t set a goal to go to the gym for two hours a day, six days a week right out the gate. If you struggle finding time to exercise, start small, with something similar to the above example. When putting on your workout clothes after you pee becomes a habit, the next step might be to jog to the mailbox and back. You already have your workout shoes on, so why not?

BJ Fogg has performed a ton of research on this. I recommend his book Tiny Habits. I can’t do his work justice in one blog post. But the next time you are down on yourself about failing to execute a new habit you tried to implement, ask yourself whether you have the right system in place. Is the task easy enough to start forming a new habit? Is it tied to an action or event you already regularly do? Do you give yourself time to celebrate the tiny victories? Give it a shot.